Love is more than a word.

Warning: extreme cheeziness ahead.

Love is action. It might be the same action over and over and over again. It might be new actions that help us grow, or familiar actions that comfort us. Love is a dynamic activity that we take part in, not just words to say, but words and feelings to live by.

I am learning to love myself. I am working, every damn day, to believe in myself. And it takes more than just words. The words help, of course, but actions speak louder than words(blogs the list maker, goal pyramider, writing major). Say you will run three times this week, and then RUN THREE TIMES THIS WEEK.

I'm trying to regroup my weight loss plan. I'm reading articles, outlining workouts, writing down goals. But none of this planning will mean anything if I don't go through with it. I need to actively dynamically care and love myself. I have to do. Run. Eat. Cook. Pilate-tate?

These thoughts came to me on a run I did earlier this evening. I wasn't excited to run, work had been rough, it was hot, I felt fat and tired, and there was an opportunity to go see a movie in an air-conditioned theater. It was a rough choice. And tonight, I chose action. I chose to love myself. And it feels good.

Last thought: Sometimes my runs are prayers. Sometimes I am running for more emotional than physical reasons. I can find a mantra, a hope, a goal to meditate on while I pant and sweat. I can only hope the universe is paying attention:)

More Specific Goals

So I realized something as I was flipping through a 3 year old fitness magazine. I've stopped being specific in my fitness/weight goals. Sure, I said: I want to be under 180lbs by my cousins wedding(I totally was, thankyouverymuch). And I want to say: I will be under 170lbs by Thanksgiving.

But HOW will I do that? Running? Trying to eat healthier? Drinking less? These are phrases I can think and say. They sound nice. They sound easy-ish. And that's what losing weight is if nothing else. Easy.

Bwahahahahaha! Yeah, no.

I recently saw a goal pyramid on Pinterest that inspired me(Please forgive me for not pinning it or tracking down the pictures, it's proving to be difficult). It was structured something like this:

I will run a 5k in December.

I will run more than 10 miles every week.

I will strength train.

I will run Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.

The Sunday run will be a long run, the Tuesday an interval run, Thursday is my call.

Mondays I will do a weight lifting class at the gym.

Fridays I will do pilates and free weights after work.

I will buy myself a new sports bra the week before the 5k.

I really like this structure because it doesn't just list the goal, it lists how the goal will be achieved. It specifies the kind of work needed, and gives a structure to achieving the goal. It's also encouraging to see a reward at the bottom of the goal pyramid. It doesn't have to be buying something, it could easily have been, "feel like a badass for running a 5k." Whatever you want to give yourself.

I'm working on constructing one or two of these. And I think I know the top of one of them.

I will weigh under 170lbs by Thanksgiving.

I did it! Sorta..kinda.

My salad challenge is over, and while I did not even out to 2 salads a week for a month, I did eat 10 salads in the last month! So Let's celebrate by looking at my cool pictures of some veggies!

Nummerz! Yes, I did just type that. I liked attempting this goal so much, I'm doing it for another month. Hopefully that, combined with running and pilots workouts from Netflix will keep toning me down. And of course, rocking out to this fabulous song my sister put on her blog.

(Did I mention my sister has a blog? It's fabulous, funny, and she posts multiple times a week. Yes, I am admitting my sister rocks at something I have proven to be completely mediocre at. Not the first time. Damn your talent Kelly!)

Lettuce entertain you...

I'm eating salads!! This may be a basic part of your usual day, but it's new for me. I like roasting and sautéing veggies, but summer is coming (so beat it grey clouds!), and this "cool" veggie concept is yummy. I just finished the salad you see above. Lettuce, carrots, and leftover chicken. Simple. Delicious.

I made this salad a few days ago. Mine looked less like spaghetti and more like erratically sized barkdust. For the record, YUM. I will eat any veggie combined with lemon, olive oil, parmesan cheese, and toasted nuts. You just can't go wrong.

This salad was inspired by this recipe. I was too impatient to make the dressing, but I used panko for the first time along with shredded coconut and made a bomb tropical salad. (You can't see it, but there is pineapple in the salad above.)

Three more weeks of salad land folks. Here we go.

Salads are boring.

That's a lie. They aren't boring. I actually just ate a delicious salad for lunch that included: spinach, almonds, strawberries, grilled chicken, cucumbers, and mushrooms. Problem is, I didn't make it. My roomie did.

I just don't feel compelled to make salads. For whatever reason, I prefer cooking/baking. It's easier. Cheesier. Gooey-er. But summer is coming and my lazy ass needs to get in groove again.

So here is my proposal. I will make salad for dinner twice a week for the next month. No repeats. New salad combos every time. It's a personal challenge. That means I need to buy some spinach STAT.

I also need to start looking for recipes other than the glorious ones found at SmittenKitchen. (I want to crawl into all these pictures, hide in Deb's kitchen, and steal...) She is still my go-to-gal for recipes, but her salad section is not expansive enough to keep up with my lighter taste. (fear not Deb, you will continue to be my favorite...I just need a break. From this. And this. And this. It's not you, it's me. And my belly.)

Lucky for me, I have a FABULOUS younger sister who linked me up with Gina's Skinny Recipes. She is a mom on Weight Watchers. All of her recipes are low cal, have nutrition/points listings, and look delicious. I think the first salad recipe of hers to try will be the Coconut Chicken Salad with warm Honey Mustard Vinaigrette. Only 397 calories, and I already have most of the ingredients on hand.

So there is one goal. It feels odd to be back on track again after derailing so badly. I weighed myself on Sunday at my folks' place, and I am actually back up to 198lbs. I swore to never go above 200 again. And I won't. Salad land, here I come!

And 5 months later...

I thought I would pop in. To whatever random folk still glance at my blog every once in a while, sorry. I know. Months.

Honest Update.

I weigh 196lbs.

Holy moley. That is a weight gain, in case you were wondering. It is one I have recently truly started to rally against. I am umcomfy at this weight. 170/180 is the zone I feel good in, and right now I just feel flabby. I haven't blogged because there was no good news. Except for...well...ummmm.....

I ran a 15k!

That is 9.3 miles, in case you wanted to be impressed. I am. I am regrouping, recyking*, and reworking my life to lose weight again. And I will be using this blog again to help. So tune in every once in a while, and I promise to actually post schtuff.

*watch "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs," and thank me later. I don't care that it is a kid's movie, just do it!

I need more floor.

I really want this rug. It's the Gislev rug from ikea, it's only $19.99. Only problem? I have no where to put it. No need. My cup runneth over with rugs, in fact, because there is a large rug hanging out under my bed right now, rolled into a slug.

But isn't she beautiful?! I love graphic prints, and the color gray...seriously, it's so cheap! This is such a struggle for me. I am at the point where I don't really need anything for our apartment. One or two storage solutions could be added, but truly, we are set. Where is the fun in that?

Last week I was feeling the decorating/painting/crafting fire within, and I decided to paint our entry-way table blue. Not just any blue, mind you, but the beautiful dark deep turquoise blue that would match our dining room table and makes me think of New Mexico and the ocean. I took it to my parents' house (we don't have a space for projects like that), took out the hardware, sanded it down, primed it....and.....uh...wait a tic....I could've sworn.....where is that blue paint?

No sh*t folks. I can't find my paint. I've been looking for 4 days. Everywhere. Nada.

My blue paint has gone undercover. Which is frustrating because 1)it was going to match, 2)I wouldn't have to spend any money on this project, and 3)it was an oops paint. One of those gallons that didn't turn out just right that you get for cheap on a metal rack at Fred Meyer's. So I can't match it exactly. The injustice of it all!!

However, if my biggest problem right now is finding a new paint for an entry way table, my life isn't actually that bad:)

Have you ever started a project without all the materials/tools, and realized it halfway through?