Nervous, but excited...

Hi. It’s been a while. Which might be sad for my waist line....but I'm pretty happy. You see, I have been commuting to both of my odd-houred jobs 6 days a week for the past few months...and when I say commuting, I mean 18 miles...one way. Suckface.

But you are now reading the words of an apartment inhabiter in one of the best cities ever, Portland! Woot woot! I am less than 4 miles away from both jobs, I will be living with two of the coolest people in my life, and I finally have a use for those Moroccan carpets I was sold in Fez....long story....that makes me look bad...I am such a pushover...nope, moving on:)

The last few days have been hectic as I pack, find furniture, change addresses, and stress about life changing.

Because, as we all know, even good change can be a little scary. I am ready to leave my parent's house(again), I need to be closer to work, I love the city and the people, but...

what if?

What I can't afford to pay my student loans now that I have rent and groceries? What if I suck at buying and cooking myself healthy food? (I've lived on my own before, just not while eating healthy) What if my hours get cut at work and I can’t afford rent?

Do you notice the theme? Money. Yikes. I like having money to do things I want to do, but I hate having to stress about it. So I’m going to create a budget, manage my money, and maybe take that cute accountant who comes into my coffeeshop out for a “money management” date:)

Weigh-in

Hmmmm. I was wondering if 194.5lbs was too good to be true. Last night I weighed in and was 196lbs. Which is still awesome! I have lost 48lbs! But it is up from the last weigh-in. My goal is to rock this week and weigh-in at 194.5 again next tuesday(at a new gym no less!)

I won’t be close to my community fitness center after this week, so I am stepping it up and joining a big girls gym...a place I find very intimidating...and dark...but that has good equipment and classes...I’m talking about 24hour Fitness. It’s the Hollister of gyms to me. Dark entrance, I don’t know if I belong, and there is funny smell being pumped out the front:)

But I know I need a gym to go to while it is still winter, so I’m investing the $20 or so a month in my health. Because I deserve it.

Happy-Body-Whatnot

I was in a circuit class the other day, and had a realization. I was at a station where you are stepping up on an aerobics step, kicking out your leg, and then repeating. There were two steps to chose from. One was higher off the ground.

That’s the one I chose. And as I was sweating and kicking and wishing for water or a break, I realized how far I have come. I am almost 50lbs lighter than last summer. I can move and push and jump! I can take on the big step, and I should take on the big step. My playing small does not serve the world.

Going for what I want and need, striving for excellence, being happy, joyful, and helpful, that is what serves the world, and myself, best.

It’s mid January. I know we all have goals, resolutions, that are starting to get difficult. Recommit. Find the passion, remember your reasons, and know that you are capable. Ask for help and celebrate every little milestone, every little victory (although maybe not with 5 margaritas and brownies...because celebration throwing up is never fun:)

*title of post inspired by this hilarious skit.

You don't drown by falling in the water.

You drown by staying there. - Edwin Louis Cole

So don’t worry if you make an unhealthy food choice, or don’t work-out one day. The important thing is that you change your behavior. I didn’t get to 244lbs because I overate and didn’t exercise for a day. I grew to 244lbs because I stayed in the same rut for a long time. Now I just have to get in a healthy rut:)

At my Biggest Weight-Loss class this week, we did a grueling circuit that included running around the track holding a long 2x4 above our heads with a partner. And there were stairs, and lunges, and squats, and fun core work outs. At one point, as I was huffing and puffing on the stairs, a woman came over to me and said "I know your trainer, her workouts are like boot camp. She will work your ass off!", and I said, "I hope so!"

Being a part of this team holds me accountable at a time I usually would start plateauing and getting bored. I also feel energized to be on a team in general! We cheer each other on, share our losses, and exchange our weight-loss techniques. We even got matching tee-shirts! I love being a dork!

Speaking of losses, I lost another 2lbs this past week, meaning I am 221lbs. (cue happy dance) So my grand total of weight-loss so far is 23lbs!! That means I have lost more than my age in weight!( I am 22)

On my jog today (yes, you read that right) I thought, “only 67lbs to go!” And I reminded myself that this life I am choosing to live is not about 67 more pounds. It is about the choices I make on a daily basis, it is about moving more, it is about the next pound, not the many pounds after that. So slow and steady wins this marathon. Channel the tortoise...

The Circuits of Life

Nice title, eh? Unfortunately, my post has very little to do with The Lion King...so sad. What this post is really about is: circuits! So much fun!

I have done 2 circuits in the past 24 hours, one with my biggest loser team, and one this morning called “Power Pump.” Both exhausted me, but Power Pump chewed me up and spat me out. SInce it was a mid-morning class, I was expecting a class of young moms, the random senior citizen, and maybe one guy. No problem, right?

Fact: The class is a mini boot camp that includes sprinting, skipping, stairs, push ups, jump squats, step lunges, and jump ropes...all done by men and women who look like they belong on the cover of a fitness magazine.

Fact: My face might have reached the color of a perfectly red, ripe tomato. And I might have soaked my shirt with sweat. And my triceps might be burning. But I had a good time...seriously. I pushed myself, and did the best that I could (because there was no way I could compete with the sprinters in the class!).

The class made me think of all the reasons I don’t usually enjoy high-intensity aerobics...which brings me to:

The bounce house that is my chest. If I had $75 for a great sports bra, I would snatch one up, but my selection is limited to whatever they sell at stores like Target and Kohl’s. Not the best for a large chest. Especially because *cue rant* the average sports bra doesn’t do a damn thing! It makes my shoulders hurt, has less support than a regular underwire bra, and smashes my chest into an oval lump! Every time I jog or jump I am tempted to work some magic with duct tape, just to keep everything still...don’t doubt that I would!

But the duct tape can wait, because my reward for reaching 220lbs is a great new sports bra! And I can almost taste that 220lbs, because at weigh-in this week I saw 223lbs on the scale.

I have lost 21 lbs!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Only 3 more pounds until I can buy a sports bra that locks and loads what needs to be locked and loaded:) Want to know what my rewards are for each weight? Look at the list below! Off to have your own adventure? Enjoy this quote from The Biggest Loser show: “I want to do great things...And to do that, I need to do great things for myself.” Do something great for yourself!

Rewards for Weight-loss

240- a new album from itunes to pump me up! (I got the Black Eyed Peas:)

230- new gym shoes (still working on finding the right pair)

220- great new sports bra!!

210- 2 new DVDs

200 (199 is halfway to my goal!)- professional massage

190- a special class of some sort (maybe dancing?)

180- a new fitness accessory of some sort

170- outdoor trip

160- 2 new albums for more motivation!

154- plan a trip to visit one of my siblings (Washington D.C. or New Zealand:)