Dance Dance Revolution

I JUST WENT TO ZUMBA CLASS AND I LOVED IT AND WANT TO DO IT ALL THE TIME!

It was super duper fun. I haven't sweat like that in a LONG-ASS time. It was every where, even my calves were sweating. My runs do not achieve that. Ever. And I don't get to shimmy on my runs. or swing my hips.

Classes like that are why I miss being a member of a gym, but I just can't afford the monthly fees right now. I can afford to do it once a month though, so that will suffice, along with runs, pilates videos, and the odd hike/danceparty.

In other news, I am dogsitting right now. Cowboy is an australian cattle dog, and would be happy walking every 2 hours and running after balls for "down time." Meaning, I am exhausted, but feeling pretty darn healthy from all of our excursions. As a matter of fact, I shall now make a bold statement about weight loss. I'll bet myself, and you, and the interweb, that I will weigh 180lbs this coming Saturday (that's my next chance to weigh-in).

And now I'm off to eat chocolate cake for lunch (don't judge, it's that time of the month and I will be walking cowboy before and after....seriously, let me eat cake...bad joke....and scene.)

Lazy Tuesday

NOT.

For serious, I feel like I have in "go" mode for the past few weeks. Not necessarily in the exercise or health department, but in life at large. And I really would rather surf the internet than post anything, but I know that's for another reason entirely.

So let's back up. 2 weeks ago I decided to lose 9lbs by Thanksgiving. I chose that amount because it was, at the time, 11 weeks until Thanksgiving and I wanted to set an aggressive yet achievable goal. So then I weighed myself and ....

182lbs. Okay.

Up from the pretty 178lbs for my cousin's wedding. Shit. Anywho. The point is to lose 9lbs from that weight, so goal is 173. Let me write it one more time so you hear my conviction and terror nervousness sheer determination.

173

I have made a really specific goal list for how to achieve this. It includes things like: run three times a week, try barre 3 classes, buy 5lb weights, try one recipe a week that is low-cal/low-fat, cut back on eating at work. I'll share more details coming up, but let's quit stalling and get to my reluctance to post. I weighed myself last night at my parent's house and was a wee pissed to see that my weight was 181.8. I've lost .2lbs. Is that even a real number? Does that count? Damn straight it does. One step at a time. Next time it will be a solid 181. I got this.

Though it would be nice if this all magically happened and I was magically about a size 8 (One day folks, single digits will happen for a pair of jeans. And I shall wear them for one day and then cast them in gold to display in my foyer. Assuming I have a foyer. That's still up in the air.)

Love is more than a word.

Warning: extreme cheeziness ahead.

Love is action. It might be the same action over and over and over again. It might be new actions that help us grow, or familiar actions that comfort us. Love is a dynamic activity that we take part in, not just words to say, but words and feelings to live by.

I am learning to love myself. I am working, every damn day, to believe in myself. And it takes more than just words. The words help, of course, but actions speak louder than words(blogs the list maker, goal pyramider, writing major). Say you will run three times this week, and then RUN THREE TIMES THIS WEEK.

I'm trying to regroup my weight loss plan. I'm reading articles, outlining workouts, writing down goals. But none of this planning will mean anything if I don't go through with it. I need to actively dynamically care and love myself. I have to do. Run. Eat. Cook. Pilate-tate?

These thoughts came to me on a run I did earlier this evening. I wasn't excited to run, work had been rough, it was hot, I felt fat and tired, and there was an opportunity to go see a movie in an air-conditioned theater. It was a rough choice. And tonight, I chose action. I chose to love myself. And it feels good.

Last thought: Sometimes my runs are prayers. Sometimes I am running for more emotional than physical reasons. I can find a mantra, a hope, a goal to meditate on while I pant and sweat. I can only hope the universe is paying attention:)