I weighed in at 203.5lbs!! YESYESYES! I have lost 40.5lbs since starting this journey 3 months ago. But that number isn't the important thing. What's important is that I feel like I am getting a 2nd chance at life.
For the past two years it felt like my life was an inevitable downward spiral. I had to get my kicks in while I could because what is so darn exciting about living? Being the single friend for another few years? Writing papers(which I hate doing with a passionate fury)? Traveling so I didn't have to deal with my problems? And then what? Graduate and sit on the couch for a few months being rejected from job after job after job.
Low points. And my fat allowed(allows) me to set up a protective wall. It is my barrier, my battle gear, my excuse. And that will be hard to deal with as I break it down bit by bit, pound by pound.
But I have started. I now know that I CHOOSE MY LIFE. There is so much I don't have control over. But I do control my actions. I control what I eat. And what I do. I know that I can set goals and reach them. I know that there is more to life than passing classes and building resumes. I know that I can push myself physically.
So I am thankful for my self-confidence that is returning in small pieces. I am thankful for my family, my friends, and this blog. And for good music and coffee and my dog and books:)
I read a post from another blog the day before Thanksgiving that really spoke to me, and I wish I could have shared it sooner. It is from a blog called Feed Me I'm Cranky. I just started following it, and her post on Thanksgiving spoke to me.
You should follow the link and read it, but for those of you who can't be bothered to go, here is a intense compression of what she had to say:
Don't build up the holidays as this huge ordeal that you have to get through. Plan for the chaos, make your own decisions, don't set yourself up for failure.
So I took Thanksgiving as a pretty regular day with a big meal at the end (not hard, considering I worked that morning:)
I ate small portions, had a big dinner, and only indulged in one dessert. (okay, don't hate me, but I don't really like apple/pumpkin/pecan pies...I know, sacrilege. Sometimes they hit the spot, but not usually, so it was easy for me to pass on them)
How did your Thanksgivings go? Favorite foods? Did you exercise on Thanksgiving? How are the holidays going for you so far?