Okay. Here goes.

Thank you for all of your comments on my previous post. It's hard for me to blog when the news isn;t good, because it's admitting that I am human and that I fail.

So here is the update: I weighed in this Monday at 185lbs. That is a pound gain from last time I wrote about a weigh-in. On the one hand, it's only one pound. On the other hand, it all starts with one pound. I am reconsidering my goal of weighing 175lbs by June 1st. I need to focus day by day right now.

On the good side of things, I am being more active again. I went running on Monday, and on Tuesday Kristi and I went on a 7 mile hike 3000 feet up a mountain. BAM! My legs still hurt, but it was an ass kicking that was worth it.

And maybe there is the key. Pushing myself is worth it. Challenging myself is worth it. I am worth it. Thanks for sticking around, and stay tuned for more positive posts:)

Here's the deal.

I binged today. Like I did yesterday. I got off work around lunchtime, and picked up fast food on my way home, more than I needed, and sat on the catch eating it guiltily until every last fry covered in ranch was gone.

Not my proudest moments. Not my healthiest moments. I have been in denial about the last two weeks of health. So I haven't been food journaling. It's just because I'm busy. I haven't been working out consistently. I'm busy and tired. Great excuses really. Fantastic.

I'm don't know the answer. I am tired, and frustrated, and ready to stop trying. DAGNABIT!

I'm sorry my first post in a long time is like this. I wish I was reporting success and courage to you, but at this moment, that is not the case.

Not great. Not bad, but not great.

These are a few of my favorite things...

1. My new shoes. Asics, GT2150 Trail Running shoes, grey and green. They hug my feet, comfort me, keep my feet stable, and are actually made for running, unlike the cross-training shoes I ran in for 3 months. And I got them 40% off! They made my 4.2 mile run today delightful...even though it was windy...and raining....and I was gassy....too much?
2. My food journal that now has room for emotional bullet points. You would think I would be fantastic at keeping a journal, what with me blogging and majoring in english/writing, but alas, I am not. So bullet points are my attempt. And it's working. I'm regaining focus, and getting to sleep faster! Woot for sleep!
3. Fruits and Vegetables! I stocked up at the store this week, no skimping. I would rather have fruit at hand for snacking than other stuff, and I can add frozen veggies to pretty much anything.
4. Odwalla SUPERFOOD drink. It's green, tastes pretty nummy, and makes me feel healthy at the beginning of the day.
5. Books. I know this doesn;t have to do with weight-loss, but I love books and reading. And yesterday (my first day off from both jobs in 10 days), I read something that resonated with me. I'm rereading it, and making notes, and then I will share it with you all.
6. This video. I smile every time. Every time.