That damn slope

I've slid a bit. And by a bit, I mean a lot. I think the real low point was this afternoon as I sat on the couch stuffing my face with crap chocolate slightly melted in stale coffee while watching Faerie Tale Theater with Shelley Duvall. Of course, that was after the burrito, cheesesticks and goldfish late Saturday, and the (other) burrito, swedish meatballs, and midnight chocolate chip pancakes.

I fell hard. The best indicator that I am not eating well is when I don't food journal at the end of the day. I don't want to face the truth. What's funny is that I have been doing great with exercise and training, but food late at night is my downfall.

Sitting with crumbs on my belly while watching Matthew Broderick be Prince Charming, I knew I needed to pick myself up and start the day again. I took a long run after a nap, and it was a perfect cure. I've been eating healthy for the last few hours, and am feeling on the up and up.

We all need different things from a diet. Some people need a strict plan, others need general guide lines. What works for me is making my own food. In the kitchen I am in charge, and can do whatever I like with portions, and oils, salt and sugar. I don't like depriving myself though, so when I go out to eat, I don't look for the low-cal option, I look for whatever sounds tastiest, and then try to resist eating it all right then. Having a small budget makes eating in a better option 95% of the time, but this weekend I ate out 4 times, and that took it's toll.

I have been working on making a budget for myself. I think I need to keep my health in mind when I factor in a restaurant and drinks amount. Then I can save money and my health!

In good news, I am pretty sure that I ran over 3 miles today! It is my week to be running 35 minutes straight, and the last five usually involve me panting and slowing down, but daggummit, I made it to 35 minutes straight! I think....I might....be becoming....a runner? Weird. Here's hoping my boobs don't disappear!

Everyone needs to go about "dieting" their own way.

Let your love open the door

Hope everyone had an excellent day/weekend of loving and living! I was blessed to spend Valentine's Day celebrating my grandmother's 75th birthday with my whole family. (not much time to think about being single:)

I feel so blessed (there is that word again) to have my family. They support me, make me laugh, and know how to throw a darn good open house! We had family portraits taken, and I felt good about myself. If we had taken these pictures a year ago, I would have pretended to feel good about the body/face/double chin on everyone's mantel, but now I actually do feel good about my current body being immortalized.

Losing weight has helped me appreciate my body. I will never have a flat stomach. I have veins and moles and scars and acne(dammit!)....but I can move. I can stand for hours I can run for 30 minutes straight. AND I can fit into a size 16 bridesmaid dress at David's Bridal. It feels like I am finally inhabiting my body. Blemishes and all, this is me. Worrying or stressing will not improve my life. Freaking out about a scar in the middle of my forehead or the cellulite on my ass is only interesting for about 2 minutes. Then it's time to move onto actual living, doing, and moving.

I write this now, knowing that there will be days when I forget. Moments when I want to eat and sit and criticize. I will have this to look back on.

Weigh-in

I weigh 188lbs!! I have officially lost 56lbs. That is how much a bushel of shelled corn weighs...random?

So what am I doing that is working? There are two things that I think have been contributing to my recent success:

1. Planned Exercise. In training for my 5k, I have committed to running 3 times a week. This is non-negotiable. In addition to those runs, I am doing 2 resistance/weights workouts a week. I'm not going to pay for a membership to 24hour fitness unless I am using it. My life was missing resistance training, but it's back, and I am excited about getting stronger! And I get to choose a random activity 1 day a week! This could be dancing, or going on a hike, or....well...I don't know. But I am going to try a hip-hop class soon, and at some point I will try pilates:) So to recap: 3 days of running, 2 days of weights/resistance, 1 whatever, and 1 day of rest. The routine really helps me focus, and I can see the results!
2. Using the 80% rule of eating. To me, this means I eat really healthy and moderately at least 80% of the time. I shoot for all the time, but I just can't deny myself all the tastey pleasures this world has to offer. Like the Twix I had tonight at the movies. I had one stick during the previews, and one when I started writing this post. Sure it's not great for me, but I like it, and I'm not having another one for probably another 4 months. This idea of 80% also helps me get back on track after slip-ups. Instead of being discouraged after eating something not-so-great, I move onto making better choices for the rest of the day. Less guilt, more fun...and pounds lost!

TMI

My body doesn't like "crap" food. Example: This past Sunday I had a piece of birthday cake, lots of cheese on a white bread pastrami sandwich, pop, punch, and about 5 pieces of frosted cardamon bread (Grandma's birthday, remember?)

Monday morning I was gassy and kept having to go to the bathroom. That might be too much information for y'all, but it was interesting to have my body react to food so noticeably. Good for you body, for loving good food and fussing over the bad! Who thought I would ever celebrate gas? (not me, that's fo' sho)

Love

Let's talk about the title of my post(remember it? it's way up there at the top, you troopers!) Love opens doors. We often focus on others. but think of all the doors that open when you love yourself. When you respect and honor yourself, you live a better life. Let your love for others and yourself lead you to healthy choices and playing big!

Love,

Losergirl Jess

Any weigh you want it!

It's a drizzly grey morning here in Portland, and I LOVE IT! I love the rain. I love the sound, the feel, the coziness, the wetness....if rain could sing it would be Rosemary Clooney and Fergie combined, and I would be her biggest fan.

Did I mention I like the rain? I know it gets dreary, but the entire culture out here is based on precipitation, so a rainy winter means fuller lakes, better snowboarding, and excellent white water rafting. Also, more fresh food in the summer!

Lows of the week thus far

Microwaving my yoghurt. whoops. I had chicken soup leftovers in an old yoghurt container and I so I popped what I thought was tasty soup into the microwave at work....but all I got was hot yoghurt....bleegh. (I put it in the fridge when I got home, and it tastes fine:)

I over-ate yesterday. With food that really has no nutritional value. Salty sweet stuff that I know better than to eat, especially one after the other.

Highs of the week.

I went on a run/walk that was 5 miles!!! It was such a beautiful day on Monday, I didn't want to come inside. So I just kept moving. The great thing about running outside is that when I get tired, I can't just turn off the treadmill and step off. I still have to get home. I still have to be engaged and alert and moving.

I weighed in this past Tuesday at 189.5!!!! I have broken through 190! That means I get to treat myself to a class of some sort. Now. Since I am on a tight budget, my options are the classes at my gym. So I think Zumba and Hip Hop will be entering my life soon. Cause I'm so gangsta, yo.

Have a great Friday, and enjoy whatever weather you are blessed with!

Lots of updates!

Trainer Meeting

Being a new member of 24hour got me a session with a trainer! It was more an informational session than working out, but it was very helpful. He asked me questions about my nutrition and exercise...and broke my coasting bubble of not trying very hard.

I'll be honest. I have not been pushing myself in the past few months, specifically with resistance training. When I do resistance training at all I stick with 10lb weights...and usually just work my arms.

Oops. I got some hard truths about pushing myself. He kindly informed me that it was stupid to only work my arms. So I am going to work on my whole body now including arms, back, legs, chest, and core. Which means, among many other things, doing push-ups. I HATE PUSHUPS.

Pushups

In an effort to push myself, I worked out with one of my co-workers on Thursday. She lead me through her routine for abs and arms, and then I went on to workout my back. It's been too long since I sweated durning a weights workout. DId I mention that I am still sore? 3 days later?

What I am trying to say, is that it is time to push myself. And not in a general way. Here is what I want to do:

1. Resistance training for the whole body twice a week. No excuses. Sweat must happen.
2. Push-ups. 20 one Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
3. Stretch more. I think I'm going to move the coffee table aside as I watch 30 Rock and stretch it out on the carpet. I might as well move and become more flexible as I watch hilarious Tina Fey!

Running

I think I'm becoming an addict. I love being outside, and I can feel my body getting more and more used to continuous jogging. This week I am moving up to at least 20 minutes straight as I train for the Shamrock run...and I know I can do it.

Moment of Inspiration.

Remember that your playing small does not serve the world. Remember that you are immensely capable and in charge of your choices. This world is a wondrous place, and you honor it and all of us by living a fantastic life. Happy Sunday!

Easy like Sunday morning...

Actually, it's not that easy...but you knew that. The whole "eat less(and healthier) and move more" idea sounds simple, but it gets complicated because life is complicated.

Like this morning, I had a rough start and didn't realize until too late that I did in fact have time to exercise before work. And now I am off to work. whoops:)

So this is a mini post to let you know that I will be doing a more in depth post this evening, as well as a yoga video from exercise tv....I found it through this awesome lady.

I usually don't like yoga, but I'm giving it a go. Off to work, have a FANTABULOUS Sunday!

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

I made a tasty meal using my own food in my own apartment and get to eat my own leftovers! (small victories people, celebrate them:)

I baked chicken lightly drizzled in olive oil and garlic schtuff, rice made with 1/2 water 1/2 tomato juice, and sauteed sqaush and tomatoes. I think I got healthier just typing that. The great thing is that I have leftovers, so I am getting 3 meals after only cooking 1.

Any tips on healthy eating when (usually) cooking for one? Good dinner recipes? I am all ears.

5k Training

It has begun. I am loosely planning my training around time goals. Try to run at least 15 minutes straight this week. 20 minutes the next, and keep adding on 5 minutes of continuous running every week until the big day!

We ran yesterday morning, after a night of bollywood dancing(oh yeah). There were certain points where I really had to push myself, get over whatever mental hurdle was tripping my up, and keep going.

Like when we were running up a hill, or when I realized I still had at least 4 more blocks to run and my legs felt like lead. Or when I went off to lala land and couldn't remember the last 4 blocks.

I like to be present when I am running. I haven't listened to music while running becauseI want to be where I am...this isn't to say I won't ever listen to Fergie while pounding the pavement. Cause she rocks, that's why.

It feels like the start to a good week folks...let's make it so:)