Weight Loss Tracker

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Nervous, but excited...

Hi. It’s been a while. Which might be sad for my waist line....but I'm pretty happy. You see, I have been commuting to both of my odd-houred jobs 6 days a week for the past few months...and when I say commuting, I mean 18 miles...one way. Suckface.

But you are now reading the words of an apartment inhabiter in one of the best cities ever, Portland! Woot woot! I am less than 4 miles away from both jobs, I will be living with two of the coolest people in my life, and I finally have a use for those Moroccan carpets I was sold in Fez....long story....that makes me look bad...I am such a pushover...nope, moving on:)

The last few days have been hectic as I pack, find furniture, change addresses, and stress about life changing.

Because, as we all know, even good change can be a little scary. I am ready to leave my parent's house(again), I need to be closer to work, I love the city and the people, but...

what if?

What I can't afford to pay my student loans now that I have rent and groceries? What if I suck at buying and cooking myself healthy food? (I've lived on my own before, just not while eating healthy) What if my hours get cut at work and I can’t afford rent?

Do you notice the theme? Money. Yikes. I like having money to do things I want to do, but I hate having to stress about it. So I’m going to create a budget, manage my money, and maybe take that cute accountant who comes into my coffeeshop out for a “money management” date:)


Hmmmm. I was wondering if 194.5lbs was too good to be true. Last night I weighed in and was 196lbs. Which is still awesome! I have lost 48lbs! But it is up from the last weigh-in. My goal is to rock this week and weigh-in at 194.5 again next tuesday(at a new gym no less!)

I won’t be close to my community fitness center after this week, so I am stepping it up and joining a big girls gym...a place I find very intimidating...and dark...but that has good equipment and classes...I’m talking about 24hour Fitness. It’s the Hollister of gyms to me. Dark entrance, I don’t know if I belong, and there is funny smell being pumped out the front:)

But I know I need a gym to go to while it is still winter, so I’m investing the $20 or so a month in my health. Because I deserve it.


I was in a circuit class the other day, and had a realization. I was at a station where you are stepping up on an aerobics step, kicking out your leg, and then repeating. There were two steps to chose from. One was higher off the ground.

That’s the one I chose. And as I was sweating and kicking and wishing for water or a break, I realized how far I have come. I am almost 50lbs lighter than last summer. I can move and push and jump! I can take on the big step, and I should take on the big step. My playing small does not serve the world.

Going for what I want and need, striving for excellence, being happy, joyful, and helpful, that is what serves the world, and myself, best.

It’s mid January. I know we all have goals, resolutions, that are starting to get difficult. Recommit. Find the passion, remember your reasons, and know that you are capable. Ask for help and celebrate every little milestone, every little victory (although maybe not with 5 margaritas and brownies...because celebration throwing up is never fun:)

*title of post inspired by this hilarious skit.

1 comment:

  1. I just caught up with all your entries I missed this past month...! Man it has been a long vacation from blogging. But I still have that Marianne Williamson poem in my room here! The same page out of the Explore retreat handbook.

    I'm glad you found some inspiration in it. I forget most of the time how much it means, but the line that always gets me is:
    "As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same." It's kind of a reminder about how much (positive) effect we can have on other people by being ourselves. Deep.

    Okay, being that serious was kind of hard, so here is the real me: I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE IN PORTLAND WITH KRISTI AND ANDREEWWWWW!!!!

    Lots of love to you :)